How can you tell if a man likes you or is interested? You noticed him when you were standing and chatting with a friend. You think he noticed you, but maybe it was your thoughts or simply wishful thinking. He looked at you at about the same time you saw him. Your eyes met for just a few seconds, after which you looked away. Whenever you looked back up, he was chatting with some other people. Was he watching you as you mingled? Or were you making that up? How are you going to tell if a man likes you? Why are guys so hard to read?

Here are five secret signs that he’s interested in you too. If any of these occurs, he might be trying to get close enough to ask you out:

1.  He tells somebody
Is he interested? He likes you if he tells a mutual pal that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you are from. He’s trying to act like he’s “just asking” but his questions show a lot more than a casual interest. When he tells someone that he finds you attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He’s hoping it does.

2.  The look

He gives you a glance that betrays his calm exterior. Even though he is across the room, “that look” he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then his eyes linger on yours. You think you notice the beginning of a tentative smile.

3.  The conversation

Does he like you? When he manages to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He’s moving in to the ultimate question, which is: “Are you seeing anyone.” He would only ask this question if he wanted to date you, and he hopes the answer is “No.” Never ever wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may assume incorrectly that you are taken. If he doesn’t ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

4.  He appears unexpectedly

He likes you a lot if he shows up out of nowhere.  He can only do that if he has been asking people about your schedule, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn red when he sees you. A sudden, “Oh, hi,” is his way of saying, “I don’t want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you.” If you feel the same way, do not act shy. Stop and talk to him.

5. EVERYONE likes you

Is he interested? When you are well liked and a happy person, why wouldn’t he like you? Of course he does. If you don’t have a great life, however, now is your time to start working on one. Take a look at your career possibilities, body image, future, plans, and resources. You may be naturally talented at something, but it won’t matter unless you work on your strengths. Misused or unused talents fade away. School and training do not.

These are the five signs that he is interested and he is on the verge of asking you out. Make it easy for him and be friendly. This is where relationships begin.

So when should you tell the other person you’re totally under their spell? I’ve read and heard other Relationships “experts” say that “I love you” should come only on the tenth date or after you’ve dated someone for four months. Personally, I think that is all bull shit. Excuse my language. Saying “I love you” is a very personal experience, and every person has their own different timetable for saying it. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150% certain that they truly love the person they are saying it to.

However, it is usually a bad idea to tell someone you love them on the first date or even second date. The person might think that you say it to everyone you date. And the truth is, on the first date, you don’t really know a thing about this person. The first date might have been great but there is a ninety-nine-point-ninety-nine percent chance that this person may not always be all well dressed, charming and sweet. Wait at least until you know more about the person.

If after thinking it through you are convinced that you are committed to her or him, mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the moment. Easing into the moment by letting the other person know how much they mean to you and how they make your life richer, and speaking clearly while holding eye contact can make it a little less nerve-wrecking. However, the moment should not be choreographed to the T. Let a little spontaneity rule, flow with the emotions that come to surface. Some people find it easier to write a love letter instead. That way, they can pour out their heart’s content without choking in it. Just remember that sooner or later you’ll have to say the words to the person’s face.

But not all people have difficulty with saying ‘I love you. For some it’s kind of like habit like saying “thank you” or “good-bye” after you talk to them. And I do not necessarily think there is anything wrong with it. After all it might be the last thing that you ever get a chance to say to someone else.

Uttering those three little words like you mean them to somebody you actually deeply care for doesn’t only light up the other person’s world, but yours too. The key point here is to be sincere about it. Saying ‘I love you’ a lot is not an indicator of whether one really loves. Some people use it as a way to manipulate you – like getting into your pants or you bank book. It is important to pay attention to how what they say makes you feel and if they really mean it. How is the person saying it? Does it come out like they really mean it or does it feel to you like they are saying it because they think they need to? Listen to your gut feeling and do not try to ignore it because your body picks up on non-verbal cues that your head may miss. And, if you’re questioning if this person truly loves you, then maybe something isn’t quite right or the relationship isn’t working for you. This may sound like la-la-land cliché but it is true, when someone feels for you that much, they can’t fake or hide it!

People and especially women hesitate to say how they feel because they think they should wait for the man to say it first. And many times feelings never get communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. I do not think we should be afraid to say it before the man says it to us first. Sometimes explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner in which they are said is even more important. An impulsive hug that says “I love you” may mean a lot more than words that are expressed insincerely.

Hearing the words “I love you” can come as a surprise to some of us. If it comes as a surprise, do not feel obligated to say “I love you, too” just because the other person said it to us. Simply be silent and accept the statement and then reflect on it. What does it means to you? Do you feel the same way for the person? And please, “I love you” should NEVER be followed with a “yeah, me too”.

“I love you” should be said only when you really mean it because when you tell someone that you love them, especially for the first time, it changes the way the person acts toward you or the way they even look at you. When you tell someone you love them quiet often the way it comes across to the other person is like okay, I love you now you have to love me back, or because I love you I want you to treat me in a certain way or now that I love you let’s take this relationship to another level…like get married. Men especially have a hard time reacting to being told “I love you” .

Don’t blurt out ´I love you´ just because you think it will get you some bed action, some cash flow or even a wedding band. You may actually get what you want, but when the other person gets to find out they’ll hate you for it. Then again your statement of love even if you did not really mean it might be taken seriously and you might actually get “I love you, too” back. Never underestimate the capacity of a human being to fool him or herself, to become obsessive, to fall in love with someone who has given no sign whatsoever that they’re even interested.

When working with singles, I often advice them to take a kind of different approach and an alternative to “I love you”. Instead of saying “I love you”, you might want to say “honey (??), do you feel loved by me?” If he or she says “yes, I feel loved by you” you can follow it with “how am I doing that?” Even if he or she says “No I do not feel loved”, you can follow the “no” with “how or what can I do to make you feel loved?” It changes the whole dynamics. You are no longer just expressing your feelings but expressing how important it is to you that he or she feels loved by you. This approach opens a door to more truthful and intimate communication on which to build a better foundation for you relationship.

It becomes about him or her and not about you. And isn’t that what love is really about?

Your relationship may have started out with excitement, passion and great hope, and back then there was lots of love and trust to go around but now there is a surge of negative energy generated when you are together that can be hard to ignore.

It’s time to take stock of your relationship. Here are just ten warning signs that tell you that you are headed to breaking -up.

1. The relationship has no clarity and one of you seems resistant to such clarity because somehow that means he or she has to step up and deliver or be really open about his or her intentions and motivations.

2. One of you seems to be demanding too much attention, expects too much from the relationship, is bossy, self-centered or focusing on instant gratification rather than long-term happiness.

3. Whenever you have a conversation, it is mostly about problems in the relationship: what is not going right, or who is doing or not doing what etc. instead of more light-hearted and happy conversations.

4. You pick away at each other with criticisms and nagging, and little problems and everyday complaints are magnified to the extent that you end up complaining a lot with one another or getting your back up and shutting down.

5. Anger is expressed immediately and with little hesitation, one or both of you react quickly, directly, and emotions end up flying all around causing more chaos. The other negative effect of this is making your arguments everybody’s business.

6. You quickly and frequently feel quite frustrated with each other and don’t feel that strong, intimate connection you had in the beginning.

7. One or both of you harbours fears about the loss of the relationship or betrayal and this sometimes leads to using underhanded manipulation and tactics with each other.

8. There is a certain feeling of inequality between the two of you and one of you feels (and rightly so) that he or she is making too many sacrifices for the other and for the relationship and ignoring his or her own needs for happiness.

9. One or both of you feels insecure when either of you connects with other people or expresses independence by doing things or going places without the other.

10. Your sex life is sporadic and one of you always ends up feeling used or less than satisfied.

At this stage of your relationship, it is very easy to slip into a love-hate relationship, but as easily as you can plumb the depths, you can also reach great heights together if you make the effort and time to work through the reasons behind the problems and allow the original attraction you had for each other to express itself positively.

Always remember that, you have come together to learn something about your own deepest fears, needs and feelings, and this may not always be pleasant!