June 08, 2010
Nervous on a First Date? – Tips For Relaxing
Posted by: Janey : Category: Dating
Do you get nervous on a first date? We all do. The more you like the woman, the more nervous you are.
We tell guys on our radio show all the time that the best way to get over nervousness is control. Self-control, that is.
Have you ever been on a date with a woman that you were not that interested in? Remember how you felt then? You were cool as a cucumber, right? You were cool because you did not care if you ever saw her again.
You have to figure out a way to invoke those kind of feelings in yourself with a woman that you are REALLY interested in.
Here are some more helpful tips on how not to be nervous on a first date.
1. Remember that no matter how much you are attracted to her, she is a STRANGER. She might have “the look” as a late eighties song stated, but that is all you know about her now.
2. Dovetailing on tip 1, that she is in fact a stranger, you do not know what kind of girl you have. Could she be the flexible, nice, giving, highly interested woman with integrity that you seek? Sure. She can just as easily be a structured, hardheaded, mercenary as well. The point is, you just do not know so do not get overly nervous thinking you have finally met the “right one.”
3. Even if you have met “the right one” it is still going to take TIME to get to know her. Some guys want to have the ring on her finger just after the appetizer arrives. Remember, it takes approximately 10 dates or 2 months for you to seriously consider her to be your girlfriend and it takes another 2 years to see if you want her to be your wife (after she is your girlfriend). During that whole time we are watching to see if we have that flexible, nice, giving, highly interested woman with integrity.
Bottom line? Guys a lot of times put way too much into a first date. A first date has the sole objective of getting a second date and that is only if the lady laughs at our jokes, pays attention to you, lightly touches you at least 1 time during the date and acts interested in you.
Remember guys, dating is a process and many times that “process” leads to a dead end. Relax, have a good time and keep in mind that she is likely just as nervous as you are on a first date.
By Jeff M. Stevens
