So when should you tell the other person you’re totally under their spell? I’ve read and heard other Relationships “experts” say that “I love you” should come only on the tenth date or after you’ve dated someone for four months. Personally, I think that is all bull shit. Excuse my language. Saying “I love you” is a very personal experience, and every person has their own different timetable for saying it. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150% certain that they truly love the person they are saying it to.

However, it is usually a bad idea to tell someone you love them on the first date or even second date. The person might think that you say it to everyone you date. And the truth is, on the first date, you don’t really know a thing about this person. The first date might have been great but there is a ninety-nine-point-ninety-nine percent chance that this person may not always be all well dressed, charming and sweet. Wait at least until you know more about the person.

If after thinking it through you are convinced that you are committed to her or him, mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the moment. Easing into the moment by letting the other person know how much they mean to you and how they make your life richer, and speaking clearly while holding eye contact can make it a little less nerve-wrecking. However, the moment should not be choreographed to the T. Let a little spontaneity rule, flow with the emotions that come to surface. Some people find it easier to write a love letter instead. That way, they can pour out their heart’s content without choking in it. Just remember that sooner or later you’ll have to say the words to the person’s face.

But not all people have difficulty with saying ‘I love you. For some it’s kind of like habit like saying “thank you” or “good-bye” after you talk to them. And I do not necessarily think there is anything wrong with it. After all it might be the last thing that you ever get a chance to say to someone else.

Uttering those three little words like you mean them to somebody you actually deeply care for doesn’t only light up the other person’s world, but yours too. The key point here is to be sincere about it. Saying ‘I love you’ a lot is not an indicator of whether one really loves. Some people use it as a way to manipulate you – like getting into your pants or you bank book. It is important to pay attention to how what they say makes you feel and if they really mean it. How is the person saying it? Does it come out like they really mean it or does it feel to you like they are saying it because they think they need to? Listen to your gut feeling and do not try to ignore it because your body picks up on non-verbal cues that your head may miss. And, if you’re questioning if this person truly loves you, then maybe something isn’t quite right or the relationship isn’t working for you. This may sound like la-la-land cliché but it is true, when someone feels for you that much, they can’t fake or hide it!

People and especially women hesitate to say how they feel because they think they should wait for the man to say it first. And many times feelings never get communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. I do not think we should be afraid to say it before the man says it to us first. Sometimes explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner in which they are said is even more important. An impulsive hug that says “I love you” may mean a lot more than words that are expressed insincerely.

Hearing the words “I love you” can come as a surprise to some of us. If it comes as a surprise, do not feel obligated to say “I love you, too” just because the other person said it to us. Simply be silent and accept the statement and then reflect on it. What does it means to you? Do you feel the same way for the person? And please, “I love you” should NEVER be followed with a “yeah, me too”.

“I love you” should be said only when you really mean it because when you tell someone that you love them, especially for the first time, it changes the way the person acts toward you or the way they even look at you. When you tell someone you love them quiet often the way it comes across to the other person is like okay, I love you now you have to love me back, or because I love you I want you to treat me in a certain way or now that I love you let’s take this relationship to another level…like get married. Men especially have a hard time reacting to being told “I love you” .

Don’t blurt out ´I love you´ just because you think it will get you some bed action, some cash flow or even a wedding band. You may actually get what you want, but when the other person gets to find out they’ll hate you for it. Then again your statement of love even if you did not really mean it might be taken seriously and you might actually get “I love you, too” back. Never underestimate the capacity of a human being to fool him or herself, to become obsessive, to fall in love with someone who has given no sign whatsoever that they’re even interested.

When working with singles, I often advice them to take a kind of different approach and an alternative to “I love you”. Instead of saying “I love you”, you might want to say “honey (??), do you feel loved by me?” If he or she says “yes, I feel loved by you” you can follow it with “how am I doing that?” Even if he or she says “No I do not feel loved”, you can follow the “no” with “how or what can I do to make you feel loved?” It changes the whole dynamics. You are no longer just expressing your feelings but expressing how important it is to you that he or she feels loved by you. This approach opens a door to more truthful and intimate communication on which to build a better foundation for you relationship.

It becomes about him or her and not about you. And isn’t that what love is really about?

You took the first huge step and asked him or her out. Thumbs up – both thumbs up!

Now what?

You see, that hot man or woman you’re going out with has done “dinner and a movie” with every other unoriginal person before you. He or she has heard the same tired opening lines so many times; same dry conversations with same boring dates; same… you get the point. Your new heartthrob is looking for, hoping for and expecting something new and different, not same old same old. This is your chance to shine- don’t blow it.

I’ll let you in on a little secret… You need a fantastic idea, a time full of excitement, little thrilling twists and turns, memories that stick and sparks that fly for you to leave an unforgettable mark in his or her mind — and heart.

But how will you make it happen?

1. Have a Plan

This might seem like another obvious dating tip, however, it’s surprising how few people take the time and effort to really think through a fun date and plan ahead for it. If you’re too busy now to take the time to buy concert tickets in advance, or do research on an interesting day trip, you’re too busy to be in a relationship and date. It’s that simple. People naively think they’ll make time for the right person, and they do – for a date or two – but a workaholic with no social life is that way for a reason. By all means work hard, but recognize that you’ve got to have balance in your life if you want a successful love life.

2. Be Honest With Who You Really Are

It’s one thing to improve yourself and make the most of who you can be, it’s another to create a false front just to try and impress a special someone into wanting to date you…sooner or later the real you is going to come out. Give your date the opportunity to fall in love with the real you, other than hoodwinking him or her into believing you are someone you are not.  When the truth does come out, and it usually does, the person who’s been lied to will be both be very disappointed and angry with you.

3. No Need To Spend Too Much

Nothing is worse than going to an expensive dinner on a first date with someone you have high hopes about only to find that you just don’t hit it off after all – it’s both expensive and a waste of time. Be more casual about the first dates – after all, if you get along so fabulously that you want to spend more time together you can go to more expensive places.

Just remember you can be modest, prudent, cut costs and reduce loss without being cheap, stingy and a penny-pincher!

4. Follow Your Gut

That little voice in the back of your head or that uncomfortable voice in your stomach should be listened to. If a red flag goes off, don’t panic or get all worked up and start attacking accusing or hassling your date. File it away in your mind for something to chew on later on your own. And if the person does not at first come off as your “type” but he or she sort of tickles your insides and you feel like you are enjoying yourself, give the date a chance and see what happens. You just might be surprised to find that over time your “type” changed and you didn’t even realize it.

5. Relax But Most of All Show Your Human Side

A date is not an interview for a job or position but an opportunity for a meeting of hearts. So it’s not about what you know or how much you know, it’s about experiencing emotions and sharing human warmth (strengths and faults). Everyone-no exceptions-responds to emotions and feelings and that human-to-human touch (quite well I must add), even when it’s not apparent.

Laugh, be playful, show emotion (ranges of them), tell a deeply personal story (one is enough, this is not your favourite aunt’s funeral), tease (if you know the difference between sleaze and tease) and just be a human being not a perfect one just a real, living, warm human being. You do remember how to — right?

6. Don’t Jump To Any Conclusions

There may be any number of reasons why someone reacts in a way you didn’t expect. What people say when they’re relaxed may not be what they’d say when they’re anxious. Give them a chance – allow people to make mistakes! If you make a mistake – say something wrong, don’t worry too much about and spoil the date – most people are more forgiving than you think .Stay cool if things are going well. Your mission to be fun and relaxed!!

7. If You Feel Physical Chemistry Be Clear About Your Signals

This is another dating tip that might seem totally obvious to many people, but it isn’t to those “afraid of rejection” members of our society – of which there are many many members. Remember that even very attractive and alluring people aren’t 100% certain of their effect on someone. If you go on a date with someone who completely lives up to your expectations (and more) let them know.

Now that being said, I don’t mean you should be sticking your tongue down their throat at the beginning of the date (which has happened to me and was no fun), nor do you need to jump on them at the end of the date and try to get some. There are very subtle, but potent signs to let someone know you’re not only enjoying yourself with them but you find them physically attractive. Hold strong eye contact and “triangle” them from time to time – that is look from one of their eyes to the other, to their mouth and back. This, by the way, is something humans naturally do when they’re very attracted to someone. Brush or press your knee against theirs under the table for a second or two a couple of times during the date. Touch their arm or shoulder to emphasize a point while talking to them (but don’t do it too often).

8. Don’t Wear Out Your Welcome

This is the point where most of us actually bite the dust in the dating arena – we get so excited about meeting someone we’re really attracted to that we wear out our welcome. This is exactly what you should avoid. Fascination and interest can quickly turn to disinterest if you wear out your welcome. It’s always an important dating tip to give someone less of yourself in the very beginning of a dating relationship than you’d like to.

Just one more thing, all the great dating tips in the world will do you absolutely no good at all if you still have mental, emotional and sexual hang-ups that screw things up once you do meet the right person. Clean out your emotional closet and give yourself a fighting chance.

You can extremely be nervous on your first date, especially if you are not the outspoken type. It is a good thing to learn a few things through online resources if you want to make a great first impression. In fact, for you to do just the right things in your initial first date conversations, you can effectively be in charge of the whole situation and get easy sex, romance, or whatever else it is from your date!

Firstly, you should understand a few things about women. No matter how many “gurus” tell you that women like to be complimented, cared for, bought gifts, treated like royalty, don’t do it! At least, don’t do it so easily. Women need to earn these things; just like us guys need to earn the things we want. Men and Women are equal, don’t forget this.

A Few Quick Conversation Ideas That Will Excite Her

Some of these ideas require guts, but none will make you look stupid. Only use the ideas that you feel comfortable with. Also, use your head, as some of these things might be better suited for the end of the date.

How was your day? – It’s perfect for early on in the piece. Whatever her answer is, be interested, energetic, and ready to make comparisons with your own day.

What do you love to do in your spare time? – Showing a genuine interest in her is a must, and this is the perfect question to start off with. She will tell you her mind and ten conversation goes!

So, do you have any life passions? – Passion is a great word to use, as it is so often associated with sex! Again, you need to show genuine interest. Keep the spotlight on her, and if you find her interesting and intriguing, make her know that! Of course, if you find her boring, you can always talk about yourself.

So, are you going to ask anything about myself or should we just keep talking about you? – You need to do this in an obvious joking fashion. Make sure she doesn’t take you too serious. She should get all self conscious from this, even though it was an obvious joke.