So when should you tell the other person you’re totally under their spell? I’ve read and heard other Relationships “experts” say that “I love you” should come only on the tenth date or after you’ve dated someone for four months. Personally, I think that is all bull shit. Excuse my language. Saying “I love you” is a very personal experience, and every person has their own different timetable for saying it. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150% certain that they truly love the person they are saying it to.

However, it is usually a bad idea to tell someone you love them on the first date or even second date. The person might think that you say it to everyone you date. And the truth is, on the first date, you don’t really know a thing about this person. The first date might have been great but there is a ninety-nine-point-ninety-nine percent chance that this person may not always be all well dressed, charming and sweet. Wait at least until you know more about the person.

If after thinking it through you are convinced that you are committed to her or him, mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the moment. Easing into the moment by letting the other person know how much they mean to you and how they make your life richer, and speaking clearly while holding eye contact can make it a little less nerve-wrecking. However, the moment should not be choreographed to the T. Let a little spontaneity rule, flow with the emotions that come to surface. Some people find it easier to write a love letter instead. That way, they can pour out their heart’s content without choking in it. Just remember that sooner or later you’ll have to say the words to the person’s face.

But not all people have difficulty with saying ‘I love you. For some it’s kind of like habit like saying “thank you” or “good-bye” after you talk to them. And I do not necessarily think there is anything wrong with it. After all it might be the last thing that you ever get a chance to say to someone else.

Uttering those three little words like you mean them to somebody you actually deeply care for doesn’t only light up the other person’s world, but yours too. The key point here is to be sincere about it. Saying ‘I love you’ a lot is not an indicator of whether one really loves. Some people use it as a way to manipulate you – like getting into your pants or you bank book. It is important to pay attention to how what they say makes you feel and if they really mean it. How is the person saying it? Does it come out like they really mean it or does it feel to you like they are saying it because they think they need to? Listen to your gut feeling and do not try to ignore it because your body picks up on non-verbal cues that your head may miss. And, if you’re questioning if this person truly loves you, then maybe something isn’t quite right or the relationship isn’t working for you. This may sound like la-la-land cliché but it is true, when someone feels for you that much, they can’t fake or hide it!

People and especially women hesitate to say how they feel because they think they should wait for the man to say it first. And many times feelings never get communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. I do not think we should be afraid to say it before the man says it to us first. Sometimes explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner in which they are said is even more important. An impulsive hug that says “I love you” may mean a lot more than words that are expressed insincerely.

Hearing the words “I love you” can come as a surprise to some of us. If it comes as a surprise, do not feel obligated to say “I love you, too” just because the other person said it to us. Simply be silent and accept the statement and then reflect on it. What does it means to you? Do you feel the same way for the person? And please, “I love you” should NEVER be followed with a “yeah, me too”.

“I love you” should be said only when you really mean it because when you tell someone that you love them, especially for the first time, it changes the way the person acts toward you or the way they even look at you. When you tell someone you love them quiet often the way it comes across to the other person is like okay, I love you now you have to love me back, or because I love you I want you to treat me in a certain way or now that I love you let’s take this relationship to another level…like get married. Men especially have a hard time reacting to being told “I love you” .

Don’t blurt out ´I love you´ just because you think it will get you some bed action, some cash flow or even a wedding band. You may actually get what you want, but when the other person gets to find out they’ll hate you for it. Then again your statement of love even if you did not really mean it might be taken seriously and you might actually get “I love you, too” back. Never underestimate the capacity of a human being to fool him or herself, to become obsessive, to fall in love with someone who has given no sign whatsoever that they’re even interested.

When working with singles, I often advice them to take a kind of different approach and an alternative to “I love you”. Instead of saying “I love you”, you might want to say “honey (??), do you feel loved by me?” If he or she says “yes, I feel loved by you” you can follow it with “how am I doing that?” Even if he or she says “No I do not feel loved”, you can follow the “no” with “how or what can I do to make you feel loved?” It changes the whole dynamics. You are no longer just expressing your feelings but expressing how important it is to you that he or she feels loved by you. This approach opens a door to more truthful and intimate communication on which to build a better foundation for you relationship.

It becomes about him or her and not about you. And isn’t that what love is really about?

Deciding to make or not to make love together is a very personal and important decision in a new relationship. Do what you like, but here is what I know- fools rush in! Many people feel social pressures of “Sex in the City” types of relationships. That’s TV. This is your life! First, you must decide if you are looking for a long-term relationship, or a short-term relationship. That can guide your sexual decisions and actions. In the meantime, here are five love tips for you to review. I hope they will help you.

Love Tip 1: Men don’t respect women who are too sexually available too soon. Women don’t like men who are too pushy.

No matter what your date might say, men are taught to think poorly of women who have sex with them too soon. Women do not like to be pressured, and most men don’t either.

Love Tip 2: Take your time and enjoy the ride!

There are so many fun things you can do- kissing, fooling around with your clothes on, etc. Enjoy the buildup! Dating is a process of getting to know each other. Ask yourself if the chemistry is there, if you enjoy one another’s company, if this is a person that you enjoy on many levels. The more compatible you are, the better the sex is likely to be. After all, anticipation is half the fun!

Love Tip 3: Be safe, be sure and be healthy!

It is important that you and your partner get health tested for STDs first. This protects you and them more. Still use condoms and precautions because you never know. If you feel too embarrassed to talk about STDs or safer sex, then maybe it’s too soon to be naked with the other person sharing the most intimate moments. Muster up the courage to have an open conversation about safer sex and testing. Safe sex gives you peace of mind and body.

Love Tip 4: I would say never have sex on the first date. This is a bad idea because of love tip #1. Ideally, I recommend waiting at least a month or two before having intercourse. Some may not like this or think it’s stupid, but think about it- when you have sex with someone it can be so powerful. Do you want to fall in love with Mr. or Ms. Right or Wrong? You need to consider if you are emotionally ready to take that next step.

Love Tip 5: If all you are looking for is a one night stand, then go for the sex right away. Just be careful and have the safest sex you can. Have fun- there’s no judgment here!

If the person that you are looking for is any good for you, they will respect you enough to wait for you to be ready physically and emotionally. There is an emotional component to sexuality and sensuality that can either bring us so close together in bliss or leave us heartbroken. Since there are no hard and fast rules about sex, you will need to create your own. Stick to them and you will be glad that you did!

Further Reading:

How To Kiss A Woman Romantically 

What is Online Adult Dating?

7 Romantic Things To Say To A Woman

How to know whether your man truly loves you is one of those timeless questions virtually every woman has pondered at some point in her life. It’s really unfortunate that men don’t come with an instruction manual, isn’t it? For the majority of us, we muddle through our relationships often wondering exactly what our man is thinking or feeling. If you’re one of these women you know that it’s torturous. Is there a way to get some insight into what’s going on in his heart? Actually there is and once you have this understanding you can easily determine whether he’s in love with you or not.

Think about how much time your man wants to spend with you. Be honest with yourself when you’re considering this and don’t base it on how much time he says he wishes he could be with you. When a man is in love with a woman he can’t get enough of her. He’ll do whatever it takes to spend every second he can with her. If your guy has a laundry list of reasons for why he can’t be with you, he’s likely just testing the waters of the relationship and isn’t that emotionally invested. This really is one of the easiest and most effective techniques when you want to know how much he loves you.

Does he seem interested in the small details of your life? Does he make lovingly comments about the things that others find insignificant? If he does either of these he’s developing strong feelings for you. If he does both he’s definitely in love with you. When a man is crazy about a woman he can’t learn enough about her. He wants to know everything and anything. He’ll also pick up on the small subtleties. Things like how you bite your lip when you’re reading or how you wiggle your nose when it’s cold outside all catch his eye. He’ll tell you how much he adores those things about you. When you are thinking about how to know whether he loves you consider both of these things. They really tell so much about what he’s feeling for you.

Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you. For more insightful tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you.