So when should you tell the other person you’re totally under their spell? I’ve read and heard other Relationships “experts” say that “I love you” should come only on the tenth date or after you’ve dated someone for four months. Personally, I think that is all bull shit. Excuse my language. Saying “I love you” is a very personal experience, and every person has their own different timetable for saying it. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150% certain that they truly love the person they are saying it to.

However, it is usually a bad idea to tell someone you love them on the first date or even second date. The person might think that you say it to everyone you date. And the truth is, on the first date, you don’t really know a thing about this person. The first date might have been great but there is a ninety-nine-point-ninety-nine percent chance that this person may not always be all well dressed, charming and sweet. Wait at least until you know more about the person.

If after thinking it through you are convinced that you are committed to her or him, mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the moment. Easing into the moment by letting the other person know how much they mean to you and how they make your life richer, and speaking clearly while holding eye contact can make it a little less nerve-wrecking. However, the moment should not be choreographed to the T. Let a little spontaneity rule, flow with the emotions that come to surface. Some people find it easier to write a love letter instead. That way, they can pour out their heart’s content without choking in it. Just remember that sooner or later you’ll have to say the words to the person’s face.

But not all people have difficulty with saying ‘I love you. For some it’s kind of like habit like saying “thank you” or “good-bye” after you talk to them. And I do not necessarily think there is anything wrong with it. After all it might be the last thing that you ever get a chance to say to someone else.

Uttering those three little words like you mean them to somebody you actually deeply care for doesn’t only light up the other person’s world, but yours too. The key point here is to be sincere about it. Saying ‘I love you’ a lot is not an indicator of whether one really loves. Some people use it as a way to manipulate you – like getting into your pants or you bank book. It is important to pay attention to how what they say makes you feel and if they really mean it. How is the person saying it? Does it come out like they really mean it or does it feel to you like they are saying it because they think they need to? Listen to your gut feeling and do not try to ignore it because your body picks up on non-verbal cues that your head may miss. And, if you’re questioning if this person truly loves you, then maybe something isn’t quite right or the relationship isn’t working for you. This may sound like la-la-land cliché but it is true, when someone feels for you that much, they can’t fake or hide it!

People and especially women hesitate to say how they feel because they think they should wait for the man to say it first. And many times feelings never get communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. I do not think we should be afraid to say it before the man says it to us first. Sometimes explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner in which they are said is even more important. An impulsive hug that says “I love you” may mean a lot more than words that are expressed insincerely.

Hearing the words “I love you” can come as a surprise to some of us. If it comes as a surprise, do not feel obligated to say “I love you, too” just because the other person said it to us. Simply be silent and accept the statement and then reflect on it. What does it means to you? Do you feel the same way for the person? And please, “I love you” should NEVER be followed with a “yeah, me too”.

“I love you” should be said only when you really mean it because when you tell someone that you love them, especially for the first time, it changes the way the person acts toward you or the way they even look at you. When you tell someone you love them quiet often the way it comes across to the other person is like okay, I love you now you have to love me back, or because I love you I want you to treat me in a certain way or now that I love you let’s take this relationship to another level…like get married. Men especially have a hard time reacting to being told “I love you” .

Don’t blurt out ´I love you´ just because you think it will get you some bed action, some cash flow or even a wedding band. You may actually get what you want, but when the other person gets to find out they’ll hate you for it. Then again your statement of love even if you did not really mean it might be taken seriously and you might actually get “I love you, too” back. Never underestimate the capacity of a human being to fool him or herself, to become obsessive, to fall in love with someone who has given no sign whatsoever that they’re even interested.

When working with singles, I often advice them to take a kind of different approach and an alternative to “I love you”. Instead of saying “I love you”, you might want to say “honey (??), do you feel loved by me?” If he or she says “yes, I feel loved by you” you can follow it with “how am I doing that?” Even if he or she says “No I do not feel loved”, you can follow the “no” with “how or what can I do to make you feel loved?” It changes the whole dynamics. You are no longer just expressing your feelings but expressing how important it is to you that he or she feels loved by you. This approach opens a door to more truthful and intimate communication on which to build a better foundation for you relationship.

It becomes about him or her and not about you. And isn’t that what love is really about?

Planning a movie night with your partner? Can’t think of any romantic movies to watch together? Well, here are 50 of the top romantic movies of all time (no particular order).

1  The Hurt Locker [Blu-ray]

2  Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred

3  The Hurt Locker

4   Up

5   Lost: The Complete Fifth Season
6. Pearl Harbor

7. Dirty Dancing

8. As Good As It Gets

9. Titanic

10. Pride And Prejudice

11. When Harry Met Sally

12. Moulin Rouge

13. Notting Hill

14. Top Gun

15. Punch-Drunk Love

16. Flashdance

17. Mystic Pizza

18. Romeo And Juliet

19. A Tale Of Two Cities

20. The Notebook

21. Casablanca

22. Gone With The Wind

23. Sabrina

24. Memoirs Of A Geisha

25. Cold Mountain

26. A Walk In The Clouds

27. Purple Rain

28. Sense And Sensibility

29. Love And Basketball

30. The Whole Wide World

31. The Road Home

32. She’s Gotta Have It

33. Cyrano De Bergerac

34. Breakfast At Tiffany’s

35. The Prince And The Showgirl

36. Pillow Talk

37. To Catch A Thief

38. All That Heaven Allows

39. Lola

40. A Man And A Woman

41. A Midsummer Night’s Dream

42. Holiday Inn

43. Camille

44. Beauty And The Beast

45. To Have And Have Not

46. The Awful Truth

47. Tabu

48. The Bishop’s Wife

49. For Whom The Bell Tolls

50. For Me And My Gal

Most women go through their entire lives never learning how to get what they truly want from a relationship. And, many end up losing their relationship simply because they didn’t know what to do or say to save it. This is an absolute mistake! Why? Because if you don’t gain the knowledge and the wisdom to create a magical relationship, what makes you think it’s going to be different the next time around? Chances are it probably won’t!

You see, the basis for a magical relationship begins and ends with you. That right! But, you’ve been so busy trying to transform your partner into Mr. Right that you’ve forgotten to look in the mirror! While you’ve been consumed with the futile task of transforming your mate into a compassionate, caring, loving, understanding and romantic man, you’ve neglected to ask whether you possess those qualities. When you get right down to brass tacks, we attract relationships based on the sum of who we where, who we are, and what we believe. Therefore, if you want to attract a magical relationship, you must become it period!

Examine your own beliefs! What fears and insecurities are preventing you from evolving into a confident, loving, kind and caring woman? Do you have a fear of intimacy or abandonment? Do you have a difficult time trusting others? Or, do you feel inadequate or unworthy of having a magical relationship? Do you really  completely and unconditionally? Bottom line, you are what you think you are, and that is what you’ll attract. If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Love is giving in a relationship, but only when you can first give it to yourself!

Begin by describing all of the qualities that you’d like your partner to possess, then compare them to your qualities. Don’t make excuses! Be honest with yourself! If you continue to blame your partner or others for the void that you have in your life, you will continue to attract more of the same. Once you have made an honest, comparative analysis, then you can uncover the fears and insecurities that are preventing you from evolving. I have listed them below:

Fear of intimacy

Fear of control

Fear of abandonment

Fear of inadequacy

Fear of control

Low self esteem

These self-limiting beliefs are held in your subconscious mind and limit you from getting what you really want in life. And in this case, what you really want is a magical relationship. But, the relationship of your dreams has eluded you and is currently slipping from your grasp because your fears and insecurities have nearly driven it off the cliff! Without question, negative, self-limiting beliefs are the direct fundamental cause of a relationship crisis, but the fears and insecurities that accompany them are the primary drivers. As an example, Sandy meets Bill, and it’s a match made in Heaven! It’s pure bliss! In fact, Sandy and Bill believe they are soul mates. Bill is kind, loving, passionate and romantic and attends to Sandy ’s every need. Well, Sandy and Bill get hitched in what seems to be a magical relationship. But after a few years, the magic starts to fade and the problems begin. It turns out; Sandy has suffered from a fear of abandonment most of her life because her father left at the tender young age of five. And, Bill suffers from a fear of rejection that was perpetuated by his alcoholic father. As Sandy ’s insecurities begin to surface, she requires more and more attention. She begins complaining that Bill hasn’t been giving her the attention he once did. Unrelentingly, Sandy continues to demand more and more from Bill until he reaches the breaking point. Bill senses that things are going awry, and decides to end the relationship before Sandy rejects him completely.

Because Sandy failed to address her fears and insecurities, she relied on Bill to fill an emotional void. “She, who relies on others to fill a void in her own life, builds a house of cards on shaky ground.” You see, self-love is the rock-solid foundation for every magical relationship. But, it’s virtually impossible to embrace self-love if self-limiting beliefs are standing in your way.